I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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