I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
