I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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