Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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