Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
