I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
