it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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