The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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