1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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