I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
