turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
