I just made out with a guy for $7.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
