i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
