I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
