Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
