Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
