idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
