never play flip cup with pint glasses
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
