i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
