idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
