We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
