he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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