Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
