They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
