Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
