I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
