yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it penis luge time yet?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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