Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
