There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize