Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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