I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
