Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
