Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
