I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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