dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
