I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize