I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
