Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
