Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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