I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
