WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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