i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
