he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
