It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The best revenge is premature balding
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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