the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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