i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
