my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
