No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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