I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
