Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
