I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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