cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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