I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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