I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All the doctor said was why
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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