yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
