google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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