you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
