PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
