i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
