Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
