is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
