im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
