ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
