told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
