Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
