pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
