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Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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