He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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