Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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