Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
