Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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